Things I learned in 2012
Resilience is the ability of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically, and release that energy upon unloading. The modulus of resilience is defined as the maximum energy that can be absorbed per unit volume without creating a permanent distortion. It can be calculated by integrating the stress-strain curve from zero to the elastic limit. In uniaxial tension,
where Ur is the modulus of resilience, σy is the yield strength, and E is the Young's modulus.[1]
I'm content, although surrounded by insecurity, that doesnt mean I've settled and know the future, but I have more peace, real peace. I’m proud of the jobs I have had, the people I have helped and the hard work I do- my sheer resilience through pain, learning a new language, adapting to a new culture, helping others to find a way up, and setting a good example for my children when I do what I have to do, and not just what I want to do.
I’ve learned to let go and forgive, and if I haven’t learned to turn the other cheek yet, I’ve definitely perfected the art of moving on. Life is too short to surround yourself with wolves in sheep’s clothing. In eliminating time wasted with people who have selfish or malicious motives, I freed up more time for the wonderful people I love.
I’ve learned what happiness really feels like- and how to discern it from the bullshit I’ve waded in at times. Life is not fair, we are not all born equal, I've always said that, but now I've learned the meaning of Justice delayed and to realise Justice sometimes never comes.
I’ve learned what honesty and decency sounds like- after marrying a narsissist a horrendous liar. Real men don’t lie- because they care about the value of being a good man. They don’t cheat either, because they care about how they represent their gender and their families.
I’ve learned to get myself out of hot water even if it means swimming away in search of safe shores alone, by just holding on to a few bits of wood from the shipwreck. I’ve learned to spot bullshit, learned to reach out to the right people and to lay an abusers shit bare when they deserve it. I’ve learned to silence the evil men who dare cross my path… or at least slow them down. I’ve learned to use Google to my benefit- to the disappointment of the a ..holes.
I’ve learned to only apologise when I mean it- and to verbally eviscerate those worthy. I meant every word. How’s that for personal growth. No I’m not sorry. I may have lost a few friends, cut a few a holes out, perhaps got radical along the way, but Ive cut the cancerous people out of my life.
I’ve learned to quit while I’m ahead- to hush when I only have anger on my tongue and to accept the things I can’t change. I can’t be everything to everyone, I can’t do everything I want to get done and I can’t turn an a..hole into a decent person. Some people are ugly forever- and sometimes the best revenge is letting them drown in their own truth.
Im ready for whatever 2013 brings. You?
happy holidays, Donna